Friday, July 31st, 2009
This dissolving bikini is sold as a “revenge item” for jilted boyfriends. How exactly does that work?
I know you dumped me, and it’s over. But I got you this bikini. Why don’t you put it on and we’ll go to the beach? Just as friends, of course.
Yeah. Brilliant.
Wednesday, July 29th, 2009
Earlier this week, I asked an ostensibly rhetorical question via my Twitter account:
Is there anything sadder than throwing out expired condoms?
Answers to my question poured in, and I’ve collected my favorites below.
I thought of including this joke in the original tweet, but opted for simplicity and a good setup:
“Tweeting about it ;)”
“Talking about it on twitter?”
– @boucher
This one goes poetic:
“It’s the old adage: it’s better to have bought, not loved and tossed then never to [have] bought at all.”
– @danagel
While Daniel is more pragmatic:
“Yes. Using them.”
This rabid badger might have some illegitimate offspring of which he’s unaware:
“Condoms have expiration dates? Uh oh”
And Chockenberry, as always, is delightfully weird:
“DUDE DONT YOU KNOW YOU CAN MAKE BALOONS WITH THEM WASTE NOT WANT NOT”
The most disturbing, and also most amusing, however, was this:
“What about throwing up expired condoms?”
Enjoy the mental image, folks!
Monday, July 27th, 2009
John Moltz, renowned Internet robot, gives me the business. Admittedly, I phrased this poorly, and it’s not editable now. But everyone who knows me knows I spend the lion’s share of my disposable income on two things: beer and black market liver replacements.
The fact of the matter is that I bought the iPod with a new Mac, and I get a rebate on it. I’ve already got one, so I’m giving Steven Frank’s Internet Garage Sale a try and selling it, effectively giving myself a discount on the Mac.
Monday, July 27th, 2009
This stupid question was spotted on a T ad:
If unicorns aren’t real, why are they at the Museum of Science?
I guess…they are real. Right? Is that it? That’s it, right? That must be it.
A live horse + a dead narwhal + Super Glue + alcohol.
Science, Schmience, that’s why!
Because you folks have sold out your ideals and purported mission in a sad, vain attempt to attract visitors, whatever the cost.
Your ad agency really didn’t think this through at all, did they?
Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009
The CTO at an unnamed company, having obviously never worked in customer support, was struck by the very-much-mistaken belief that any customer service requests represented a failure on the part of the company. His help desk rapidly, and comically, set him straight.
Tuesday, July 21st, 2009
I’ve been rather caught up in the 40th anniversary celebrations of Apollo 11, enjoying video and more. This collection of images by the always-excellent Big Picture is top-notch.
Monday, July 20th, 2009
The story itself is only somewhat interesting, but the closing line is fantastic.
Monday, July 20th, 2009
If this video isn’t the weirdest 151 seconds of your day, your life is far too interesting.1
An attempted song transcription:
Oh, hi. I’m Nicholas Cage, and this is a song for you:
My favorite things, my favorite things.
Blue jean sea(?), a red-haired girl,
Sweet peanut butter, a slow-burning candle,
A cup of tea and a good book,
A dance with a reindeer (?!),
and also…
Pachinko.
Yeah, Pachinko.
Pachinko-waah.
Sankyo!
My favorite bit, however, is Cage’s incredibly insincere “Sorry!” at the end of the fourth commercial. Fantastic.
Update: The best suggestions I’ve heard are “Blue Aegean Sea” (via @antichrista) which sounds plausible and “blue jeans, seeing a red haired girl” (via @jsnell), which I just don’t hear. No one has any suggestions for the second questionable line.
Footnotes:
Saturday, July 18th, 2009
Anyone with experience running a company knows that sooner or later, you’re going to get accused of creating a product that feeds on the flesh of the dead. It comes with the territory, and it’s what happened to a company called Cyclone Power, forcing them to issue a statement denying the accusation.
If you understandably don’t believe the Wired post, you can also see the official press release here.
Friday, July 17th, 2009
Amazon “unpublished” some e-books, and you’ll never guess the author. I want to love eBooks despite their flaws, and I’ve been reading some free ones on my iPhone, but this sort of thing makes me sick.
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