Dreesman received it as a private gift in 1969 from then-U.S. ambassador J. William Middendorf who accompanied the Apollo 11 astronauts on a visit to The Netherlands after the first moon landing.
Middendorf was a Nixon-appointed Ambassador, so it seems obvious that Tricky Dick has done it again.
Every weekend, thousands of looky-loos pour into the massive showroom to use the displays. Some hop into bed, slide under the covers and sneak a nap; others bring cameras and pose with the decor. Families while away the afternoon in the store for no other reason than to enjoy the air conditioning.
Cultural relativism aside, napping in a store bed is weird.
If you're not reading Fuck You, Penguin, a blog where cute animals get told what's what, you just don't know what you're missing. Where else will you find lines like this:
I bet this beaver literally shit his pants when he saw this sign (which is most likely why he is not wearing pants).
I recommend starting from the beginning, because there's a lot of hilarity.
After seeing squatters trigger an alarm in an empty building, electrician-turned-filmmaker Mark Guard entered to turn it off for the benefit of the neighbors. After briefly turning on the lights to do this, he was arrested when the police arrived, not for trespassing but for theft of electricity.
What do you think the court costs on all this were, before it was eventually dismissed?
After yesterday's post, I received many great new tips on how they get you for jury duty.
Ben Compton was part of the initial discussion I had with JT and tipped me off to one way you get jury duty:
Whenever you buy a lottery ticket ironically.
Next, a few useful hints from Twitter:
Thinking about taking one extra item through the Express Lane at the supermarket? Careful, that's how you get jury duty!
When a stranger leaves their cell phone behind, and you give it back to them, you're totally getting jury duty.
- @liscio
You touch yourself at night. #howyougetjuryduty
- @clarko
Friend and co-worker Mike Ash had a good list of scenarios that get you jury duty:
Any time you use air quotes.
Every time you buy groceries, and you get plastic bags, and one of those little leftover pieces of plastic comes off the bag and sticks to your hand, and you toss it on the ground instead of finding a trash can.
Every time you swear.
Whenever you mentally undress attractive waitresses.
And finally, I've pulled the best of the best from a list Christa Mrgan sent, for how you get jury duty:
For my part, I'm left hoping that making a post out of other people's content doesn't get me more jury duty.Running your sprinkler system when it's raining.
Printing out emails.
Calling to say you've emailed.
Failing to properly mark the decaf coffee.
Brewing decaf coffee.
If you work in a grocery store, ordering or stocking decaf coffee.
Hollister is introducing a new line of t-shirts aimed toward the pre-teen/teen set with horrifying slogans like "Legal-ish" and "I [Heart] the Woody."
"Legal-ish"? Really? I have to imagine someone is getting fired for this.
I've got jury duty today. Spare me the tired ways of weaseling out of it1, as well as the lecture on civic duty. I've served on a jury before, and it's a tedious process that's filled with bureaucracy. At best, it's a necessary evil.
While I'm not going to cheat my way out of jury duty, I'd love to avoid the whole thing in the future. So how do they find you? Some people think it's all about voting, but that's just one way you can be discovered. After a discussion with my friend JT, I worked out some of the other ways they get you for jury duty.
Checking out items from the library? You're getting more than a free book; you're getting jury duty.
When you lick an envelope, then mail it, you're definitely getting jury duty2.
Whenever you're running a yellow light, and it goes red, and you think "Shit, I really should have stopped, instead of speeding up", you totally get jury duty.
Meter feeding is illegal. It's also a surefire way to get jury duty.
Every time you Take A Penny, you get jury duty. And if you Leave A Penny? Jury duty again!
Do you know of more ways they get you for jury duty? Let me know via email or Twitter (hey, that's not a bad meme: #howyougetjuryduty).
Footnotes:
One of the largest and most complete Tyrannosaurus Rex skeletons ever discovered is set to go on the auction block in Las Vegas in October.
So, who wants to go in on this with me?
Placing an item on a kitchen grill will create a pleasant sizzling noise. This includes body parts such as the palm.
Airplane propellors can be easily stopped with the hand, without injury.
Far from being made by a mixture of hot air and corn kernels, popcorn is actually made by pushing a small two-wheeled plastic cart.
Kids love the beard. To these toddlers? I'm like some kind of crazy dog who can talk.
Infants are ungrateful little jerks who don't even have the common decency to say "Thank you" when they're given awesome gifts like sweet-ass trucks that even a fully-grown adult would love to play with.
To be fair, even in his concert photo, Bob Dylan looks more than a little haggard.
RSS FeedIf you like what you're reading, why not subscribe to One Foot Tsunami? It don't cost nothin'.
If you shop at Amazon, support One Foot Tsunami by clicking this button first:
