The TerraStar Genus smartphone, which combines cellular and satellite phone access into one device, would be one way to avoid the problems of the horrible AT&T network, I suppose. However, if I had "critical communications", I don't think I'd want them relying on Windows Mobile.
Archive for September, 2009
What a Smrt Name for a Phone
Wednesday, September 30th, 2009Things I Learned Sitting Next to Tom Brown on a Plane
Monday, September 28th, 2009
Tom enjoys sales stickers on his laptop and the world enjoys knowing that his laptop is "VIDEO MESSAGING READY, with a BuiltIn Camera & Microphone [sic]".
Tom's screen gets very bright when he turns it up.
Halfway through a two-hour flight, Tom is willing to fill out a long web form and pay for in-flight wifi. He no doubt has important business to which he must attend.
Tom's preferred user name is 'thbrown007'. However, as Tom is about 5'7" and over 200 pounds, he is both shorter and fatter than any version of the true double-oh-seven, James Bond.
Tom Brown's favorite color? Brown. No, no, that would be a terrible favorite color. It's actually blue.
Tom's mother's maiden name was 'Buster'. I want very much for her to have hyphenated her last name after marriage.
Honestly, Tom's screen brightness is really quite high.
Tom is a Texas Tech Red Raiders fan. Alternately, Tom is a fan of masked men on horses, enough to take the time to find a picture of one, download it, then set it as his wallpaper.
Tom has a daughter born in 1990, and he's friends with her on Facebook. Alternately, he has a wildly age-inappropriate wife born in 1990, and he's friends with her on Facebook.
Tom can spend many minutes optimizing his Netflix queue, until the Internet is finally switched off.
Tom did not in fact have important business to which he must attend.
Yet Another Reason to Learn to Fly a Chopper
Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009Thieves in Sweden staged a daring early morning raid on a cash depot, using a stolen helicopter to land on the building, which they then barricaded from inside. This is incredible, but what makes it hilarious is this:
Swedish police couldn't pursue the thieves because a bag marked "bomb" had been placed outside the police heliport, and officers had to deal with the bag before they could enter the heliport.
It is unclear whether the bag contained a bomb.
Translation: The bag did not actually contain a bomb.
"The World Has Been Cancelled"
Wednesday, September 16th, 2009If you're not familiar with it, The World is a massive real estate project in Dubai consisting of man-made islands in the shape of, well, the world.
Apparently, it's fallen to ruins.
Sinister Dingbats
Saturday, September 12th, 2009There are more to fonts than just the standard alphanumeric characters. In fact, whole type faces exist containing glyphs, as seen in this link.
To recreate Mark Pritchard's story yourself, enter this sample text:
J N Y S D T ) w _ v s w 3 8
or view it here.
Pritchard had to cheat a little on the running and woman, using the first half of 'w' for running and the second half for the woman, but it's still pretty great.
Ridiculous Products: Virgin Condoms
Friday, September 11th, 2009
It's tough to believe this is real, but it was brought to me direct from Indonesia, so I can vouch for it. Heck, they've got a website and everything. Their site will even teach you that "Manjakani" isn't Indonesian slang for "penis" (yet), but is actually a natural extract that tightens erectile tissue layers.
And geez, did you really think it was called a "penis condom"?
That name just kills me though. Is this a niche product? Condoms for virgins? Or condoms made exclusively for intercourse with virgins? Either way, I think I've got a slogan for them:
Virgin: Not for long!
Carrier Pigeon vs. South African ADSL
Thursday, September 10th, 2009The firm said Winston took one hour and eight minutes to fly between the offices, and the data took another hour to upload on to their system.
Mr Rolfe said the ADSL transmission of the same data size was about 4% complete in the same time.
Sneakernet has always amused me, but apparently, a PigeonNet might be practical.
Signs of Intelligent Life?
Monday, September 7th, 2009There are many signs in the world. At their best, signs are easy to comprehend, helpful, and informative. Often times, however, they are not. These hilariously flawed signs are the ones I seem to find most often, in my never-ending quest for signs of intelligent life.
Be sure to click to see the full-size images.
[Photo credit: Katie Smillie]
"Oooooooooooh!"
[Photo credit: Katie Smillie]
In hindsight, I'm sure it seems obvious that this would be far more popular than the original dead pony ride concept. But business is all about experimenting to find what works.
I'll be the first to admit, this is not always the most mature quest. But if you didn't giggle at that a bit, you've got no soul.
Have you spotted a great sign yourself? Send a photo my way.
This Is Why the Internet Exists
Friday, September 4th, 2009
Auto-Tune is a piece of software mostly used by less-than-talented singers to improve the sound of their voices. Until recently, that is, when it started being applied to everything from Martin Luther King Jr.'s 'I Have A Dream' speech to late-night infomercials.
A few months back, however, a few 20-somethings started putting it to the best use by far, when they created Auto-Tune the News. You can read about Auto-Tune the News at the Time article I linked, but really, just watch the videos. They're goofy and hilarious, and you'll be glad you did.
Episode #5 may be my favorite (particularly Katie Couric's bit), but they're all great, and Episode #8 is a work of psychotic poetry with real celebrity appearances. Best of all, if you start watching now, you'll still be able to say you knew about it before it hit the mainstream.
