There exist many sites that track tweets which users have “favorited” on Twitter. Fav’ing a tweet is something many of us do to tag tweets we find amusing, and sites like Favstar.fm and the late, great Favrd.com track the funniest tweets out there.

In the course of reading my Twitter stream, however, I’m sometimes assaulted by a tweet that produces nausea instead of the desired laughter. This @texburgher tweet, for instance:

Gross! Or this one from @msteciuk:

Foul! After seeing a few of these, it became clear that what the world needs is a site to track these disgusting tweets¹. My friend Geoff, author of the first tweet above, assisted with a name: Barvd².

Because I had nine dollars and zero sense, I bought the Barvd.com domain³. And because I have no actual follow-through on these dumb ideas, and also because the site has no real value, I haven’t done anything with it.

Until now, that is! Now, I’ve created a whole section on this site, and Barvd.com points there. At Barvd.com, you can see all the Bavrd posts, and email in suggestions of your own. Prepare to be disgusted by the Origins post and today’s companion post!

Footnotes:

1. And by “needs”, I of course mean “doesn’t need, at all”.   ↩

2. Try saying it out loud.   ↩

3. If you remember Favrf.com, you know this is the second Favrd-spoofing domain I’ve purchased. Do I secretly fear that Dean’s real reason for shuttering Favrd was me ripping off his name? Yes. Yes I do. I also fear I might have a problem with domain buying, so it’s probably for the best that Favrd is dead.   ↩

Earlier today, I saw a great tweet from @BaileyGenine:

I’m a vegetarian because I never want to accidentally eat a person.

This is a brilliant answer to a question vegetarians are constantly hit with: “Why are you a vegetarian?”. It’s a question that has always struck me as a bit rude and so I prefer to give snippy answers.

The pithiest answer is the well-worn: “Because I hate plants!”. It’s an easy joke, but it usually gets a laugh. Unfortunately, it’s both overly brief and obviously a joke, so the question is usually posed again.

Sometimes, I go a different route. I’ll state that I have Crohn’s disease and that I can’t eat meat. This usually garners some sympathy, which then of course makes me feel terrible. That said, I’ve got a pass on this. I started using it a few years back after my friend Sash found out he was afflicted. When he decided to stop eating meat, he asked me for information about being a vegetarian. In exchange for my help, he gave me permission to fake the illness whenever I needed.

Other times, the question contains a tone of derision with it. In cases like that, I’m apt to fire back with “Because I’m a homosexual. That must be it, right?”. It’s more than a bit snarky, but it at least exposes the concealed prejudice in the question, by relating it to a more common (and equally absurd) prejudice.

My favorite response, however, is one I’ve never been able to bring myself to actually use. It’s simple, cutting, and really gets to the heart of my annoyance. I hope one day to meet someone loathsome enough to deserve it. He’ll ask me “Why are you a vegetarian?”, and I’ll look him right in the eye, and say:

“Because I wanted to have one conversation, for the rest of my life.”