I've apparently got an aviation theme going for today. This article tells the story of airplane repo man Nick Popovich, supreme badass. When a company can't keep up on the payments for a $100 million dollar plane, and they refuse to give it back, Popovich shows up to get it.

I first read about Popovich via Air and Space Magazine, but the above-linked Salon article from last year is an even better read. Take this opening tale of grabbing a plane guarded by white supremacists:

"When we went to grab the plane, one of them came out with his weapon drawn and tells us we better get out of there." Undeterred, Popovich continued toward the plane until he felt a gun resting on his temple.

"You move another inch and I'll blow your fucking head off," the gravel-and-nicotine voice told Popovich.

"Well, you better go ahead and shoot, 'cause I'm grabbing that plane."

A shot was discharged in the air.

The gravel-and-nicotine voice again. "I'm not kidding."

"Then do it already."

I'm surprised these planes can even take off, weighed down as they are by Popovich's massive stones.

First off, $90,000 doesn't really jive with the definition of the word 'affordable'. This may be a relatively inexpensive price compared to planes and previous jetpack prototypes, but it's still out of the price range of, well, nearly everyone.

As well, attaching yourself to two giant freaking engines is unlikely to seem like a good way to maintain your grip on life. But fear not, gentle readers! The company, Martin Aircraft, "will force buyers to undergo training first". Yes, that oughta safen things right up.

Thanks to this tweet from my friend Neven Mrgan, "vajazzling" has reappeared on my radar. If you're unfamiliar, this is the practice of a woman removing all her pubic hair, then replacing it with Swarovski crystals.

Yes, really.

I first saw mention of "vajazzling"¹ back in January, after Jennifer Love Hewitt talked about in the press. The above link, however, features actual images (semi-safe for work) of the process and result. They are…weird.

Seeing all this, I'm tempted to start my own take on the trend. I might just need to get down to New York City and see if this spa is up for some pedazzling.

Footnotes:

1. I'm going to continue putting quotes around the word until it stops making me so uncomfortable. So, pretty much forever.   ↩

Writer J.D. Shapiro helped pen Battlefield Earth, one of the worst pieces of crap in the history of Hollywood. It recently won the Razzie for "Worst Movie of the Decade", which Shapiro accepted in person, and now he's explaining himself in the New York Post.

Let me start by apologizing to anyone who went to see "Battlefield Earth."

It wasn't as I intended — promise. No one sets out to make a train wreck. Actually, comparing it to a train wreck isn't really fair to train wrecks, because people actually want to watch those.

The whole article is definitely worth a read.

Since January 2009, a rhesus macaque has been on the lam in Tampa Bay, Florida. Despite repeated attempts to capture him, including being shot with tranquilizer darts on two separate occasions, the monkey has managed to avoid being brought in. He's covered hundreds of miles while sauntering through three counties.

The link erroneously reports the average life span of a rhesus monkey in the wild as four years. I'm not sure if Tampa Bay counts as "the wild", but even if so, a lifespan of 10-15 years is more likely. Officials might be resting on their laurels now, hoping this problem will just die away, but it could be a decade or more before that happens.

Also, be sure to notice the fantastic police sketch of the fugitive.

After a crowd at Carnegie Hall stood aside and let Iggy Pop fall, he's decided to stop stage diving.

When I landed it hurt and I made a mental note that Carnegie Hall would be a good place for my last stagedive," he said. "The audience were just like, 'What are you doing?"

I'm left shaking my head, wondering just who these people were at an Iggy Pop show who didn't understand a stage dive.

APOPO is an organization which trains African Giant Pouched Rats at detection, including detecting land mines in the field. You can learn all about them via the link and their HeroRATs site.

This is all very cool. Unfortunately, the organization's name leaves me laughing at a terrible joke:

Q: What's the sound of a rat accidentally triggering a landmine?
A: Uh-*POP*-oh!

Update: I'd be doing a disservice to APOPO if I didn't mention this FAQ on their site:

Are rats likely to get killed in the detection process?

The rats are trained to detect and pinpoint the location of the landmine. Their lightweight makes it highly unlikely they would set of a mine by scratching or pointing. It is a misunderstanding that the rats are trained as Kamikaze to destroy the mines in the field. Trained animals are far too precious to be lost by setting of landmines. On the contrary, the rats used by APOPO are treated with great care and attention, in order to optimize their physical and mental condition.

You can also donate right here. If you laughed at this post, you're as terrible a person as I am. Perhaps you should give them cash in an attempt to buy back your soul.

Speaking of Black Cards, the origin of the first black card is quite amusing. American Express's Centurion Card, which has an annual fee of $2500 and requires $250,000 in purchases per year, was created after urban legends claimed it already existed.

The real Black Card

Snopes.com has the full scoop, including tales of how the card has purportedly been used.

• Another cardholder wanted a handful of sand from the Dead Sea for a child's school project on the Holy Land. Someone was dispatched by motorcycle to the shores of the Dead Sea to obtain the sand, which was couriered back to London.

When the revolution comes, whoever that guy is, he's first against the wall.