Seasons change, but the barving remains. It's time for more from your favorite tweet tracker, Barvd (What's Barvd?). Let's get right to it.

@danielpunkass

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised by SEO-induced vomit. And yet here I am, vomit streaming down my legs, shocked at the depths to which people will sink.

@badbanana

It's not the candle poop that's so nauseating, it's the candy corn. The vile, vile candy corn.

@georgedick

Your humble author actually found this tweet nominated for Barvd, but the reply seen above was definitely worse. As if movie theaters aren't disgusting enough?

@gruber

She's 90, and that's disturbing. Not as disturbing as our finale though.

@mrgan

Look, I'm just going to tell you. It's fish semen, you guys. Fish semen.

Submit Your Own
I need to go sit down for awhile and contemplate the fact that someone decided fish semen was edible. If you've spotted a terrible tweet, submit a link.

It's summertime, and the barvin's easy. Another season has come, which means it's once again time to check in with America's favorite tweet tracker, Barvd (What's Barvd?). Today's theme is your disgusting genitals. To go along with this theme, Barvd is now featuring bigger, more in-your-face tweet images.

@Mike_FTW

Hey sickos, you're in luck – the domain is currently still available!

@Clarko

When Chris Clark is at the gym, "Hey, can you spot me?" takes on a sickening new meaning.

@mrsmoltz

If you're a grammarian, you might find the shorthand here nauseous. Since @mrsmoltz is a former reporter, however, she gets a pass. The idea of a doctor being in up to her elbow, however, does not.

@gordonshumway

If you don't know what a human centipede is, consider yourself lucky. If you do, well, you're probably thinking that that's not really genital-related. It's close enough.

@CozyMolar

One Foot Tsunami already gets a lot of no-doubt-disappointed traffic for sweaty models. I guess now we're going to get traffic for "sweaty vaginas" too, so thanks for that, @CozyMolar.

Submit Your Own
If you've been reduced to ralphing by a tweet, why not submit a link? But please, brush your teeth first – your breath is disgusting.

It's here! It's finally here! The spring edition¹ of Barvd (What's Barvd?) has arrived, and it's as gross as ever. This episode starts with a disgusting use of power tools, then takes a sharp turn into vile foods.

@marcoarment

I think if I discovered something like this in the house I'd just bought, I'd exercise my rights in the cooling-off period and cancel the sale. That, or burn the place down for the insurance money.

@scottsimpson

As promised, a sharp turn into vile culinary concoctions! Scott's diseased mind is making back-to-back appearances (see February). Fortunately, this item does not exist.

@seanhussey

This item, however, presumably does exist. PB & J & ham is bad. Adding yogurt to that is just a disaster.

@cabel

This item definitely exists², and it's offensive to both the senses and the bagel industry at large.

@stevenf

And that's how you close out a food theme!

Submit Your Own
If you've spotted a horrendous tweet, wipe the vomit off your shirt and submit a link.

Footnotes:

1. Seasonal editions of Barvd actually seems like a pretty good timetable. Then again, "whenever the hell I feel like it" is a whole lot easier schedule to keep.   ↩

2. Picture via "She doesn't like it".   ↩

Welcome to 2011's first edition of Barvd (What's Barvd?), where some of the most vile tweets are collected to amuse and abuse your senses. Sit down, strap in, and prepare to be disgusted!

@swamibooba

If I'd thought about it, I guess I'd have hoped that there were some kind of cleaning robots at Netflix to clean the movies between rentals. But it seems we're all swapping disgusting germs, and pieces of epidermis, as we swap movies.

@jimray

Politics often make people sick, but political-based vomit? That's new. And distressing.

@_mattie

No comment – I wouldn't touch this one with Oedipus's dick.

@scottsimpson

Speaking of dicks, congratulations Scott! Your cold, shriveled dead-hamster-baby penis has sickened me, and now, the world.

@danielpunkass

Sometimes tweets lose their ability to nauseate over time. Like cheese, however, this one has only gotten sharper with age.

Submit Your Own
If you've spotted a disgusting tweet, wipe the vomit off your shirt and submit a link.

In March and April, Barvd (What's Barvd?) was a monthly feature. However, after two arduous months of collecting and sharing the grossness, it became clear that this was simply too much vileness, too frequently. Barvd is back to being an occasional feature, but it's here today with a double dose of disgusting to deprive you of the desire to dine.

@tj

Dexter is a show depicting fairly gruesome murders by a serial killer who hunts other serial killers. There's blood, gore, and evil. And yet, John Lithgow's naked ass was indeed the most offensive part of season four.

@samhey

I believe the word you're looking for is bacne. The word I'm looking for is "Bluuuurgh".

@mike_ftw

@thedayhascome

Homeless people deserve the physical pleasure of sexual relations, however offensive to the senses it may be. But Fran Drescher and Gilbert Gottfried sweating it out between the sheets? That's got to constitute torture for anyone who has to hear it.

@mikeash

Yes, Marvin of "Oh man, I shot Marvin in the face" face. This Marvin. Congratulations on your new baby girl though, Mike!

@davidcairns

Mr. Cairns is a rising star in the nascent field of pube-based comedy. He's also no longer employed at the company where he worked when tweeting this.

@antichrista

Which is more disgusting, the smell of burning hair, or the pun? It's a close one.

@just_alison

Criminy, "sweaty hospital smell"? This was just one of four nominations for Ms. Agosti, but it's easily the winner.

@clarko

This is gross, but it's better than pubic hair being the pubic hair of restaurant food.

Submit Your Own
Enjoy your lunch, and if you've spotted a disgusting tweet, submit a link.

Just in time for lunch, the April edition of Barvd is here (What's Barvd?) with more nausea-inducing tweets! Try to keep that turkey sandwich down as you read on:

@badbanana

"Crunchy" (also known as "Chunky") peanut butter is disgusting, but here in America everyone is entitled to their own opinions about what sorts of things pass for food, no matter how incorrect they may be. Crunchy butter, however, just makes me physically ill. What could possibly be making it crunchy? Oh god…

@davidcairns

Oh sure, your mother knows you're sorry, David, but what about the rest of us? We've had to suffer through your repellant and possibly pornographic Rapunzel re-telling. Don't we deserve an apology as well? Or better yet, an explanation?

@antichrista

Now that's just fucked up is what that is.

@mileskahn

Sometimes folks know when they're being gross. Sometimes they even hashtag it. And sometimes, that acknowledgement still isn't enough.

@Aimee_B_Loved

I first read about the weight-loss drug Alli back in 2007, from this hilarious and horrifying link. The part which has haunted me ever since is the website copy which read:

The excess fat that passes out of your body is not harmful. In fact, you may recognize it as something that looks like the oil on top of a pizza.

Oh bloody chunder, why?! Why compare it to pizza oil? How is that helping?!

That awful, awful note will be it for this month, but if you've spotted a disgusting tweet, you can nominate it for May. Submit a link and check back, or just subscribe to One Foot Tsunami.

Barvd is now a monthly feature (What's Barvd?), appearing at the beginning of each month to show the foulest tweets of the past month. So today's installment features the most disgusting tweets from the month of March. And new this month, commentary!

@adamisacson

I've run marathons. At the end, if you did it right and left it all on the course, you feel horrible. Your body hates you, and the contents of your stomach are threatening to make a re-appearance. Even with that in mind, I think this particular marathon would make me much, much sicker.

@jasonpermenter

Body odor on its own is fairly gross, but the idea of actually swallowing it? That's truly revolting.

@luckyshirt

Humans have a visceral retching reaction to sour milk. I never thought a tweet would cause the same reaction, but here I am, stomach lurching.

@antichrista

If you get a dreadlock in your beer, you get yourself a new beer. That's just a rule to live by.

@awryone

I refuse to comment on this tweet. I do not, however, refuse to share its horrors with you.

So there they are, the most appalling tweets of March. If you've spotted a disgusting tweet, why not nominate it for April? Submit a link, then check back at the beginning of May.

Better still, subscribe to One Foot Tsunami. The first million subscribers get it free, so act fast!

Barvd's third installment is here (What's Barvd?), so get ready to get nauseated! Grab a bucket and read away:

@texburgher

@biorhythmist

@sween

@biorhythmist

@damselesque

That's all pretty gross, and you're all sickening in my book. My disgusting, disgusting book.

Submit Your Own
Have you spotted your own disgusting tweets? Suggest them!

Barvd is back (What's Barvd?) with more nausea-inducing tweets! Just try holding down your lunch as you read on!

@abigvictory

@jkubicek

@ccsteff

@trelvix

@nevenmrgan

We laughed. We cried. We puked. Now let's never speak of these again. Especially Neven's.

Submit Your Own
Have you spotted your own disgusting tweets? Suggest them!

Accompanying the Newest Tweet Tracker introductory post, here's the first full installment of Barvd. You may also wish to check out the Origins post.

From @moltz

From @seanhussey

From @sloganeerist

From @poeks

Another from @poeks

Submit Your Own
Have you spotted your own disgusting tweets? Suggest them!