Spot the Swine

While some people might find humor in the news story, Sheets and Pallito said, it comes at the expense of Vermont taxpayers.

First, if the police get duped and then feel the need to pay to correct their mistake, it seems like they should somehow cover that cost themselves. But second, at a replacement cost of $780, the bill comes to about 1/10 of a cent per resident. That's actually quite a bargain.

A New York airport screener who removed two pipes from a traveler's bag and set them aside Monday morning prompted a security scare six hours later when the next shift saw the pipes and feared they might be pipe bombs, local and federal officials said.

…

Several law enforcement sources told CNN the objects were determined to be homeopathic medical devices.

If we're really being fair to the TSA though, a lone pipe is just a highly diluted form of a bomb.

According to a company release, Springfield Nuclear Power Plant owner Mr. Burns is “as bold and direct as one would expect.” Example: “Take the third right. Do it, driving monkey!”

Also available are the Simpson parents. It doesn't seem like a great idea to have Homer Simpson telling you where to go, but Marge is pretty dependable.

Empty cages didn’t inspire rats to learn how to open the door nearly as well as those who were motivated to rescue a trapped rat. By the end of the experiment, only five of 40 rats learned to open an empty cage, while 23 of 30 rats learned to open the cage to free an occupant. (And trapped stuffed animals fared no better than empty cages.)

For more insanity, Gizmodo has a gallery of many pictures of Dotcom, including several detailing the places where he hammer-timed.

It would seem that like drugs or any other large-scale crime, copyright theft pays, at least for a time. It's also worth noting that this case seems like a pretty good reason why SOPA/PIPA simply aren't needed. To wit, law enforcement agencies already have many effective tools to combat online piracy.

Apparently, a number of customers in Canada have purchased iPads from legitimate retail stores like Best Buy, only to find that instead they've received a lump of clay shaped like an iPad. When Mark Sandhu and his wife opened their iPad box on Christmas Eve, they were left to utter a Charlie Brown-esqe "I got a rock". Ultimately though, it seems to have turned out alright.

Sandhu and his wife have received an apology from the company plus a full refund. They also received a new iPad 2 as compensation for their troubles.

“…I tripped and I ended up in one of the boats. That's how I found myself in the lifeboat.”

If you find the captain's story hard to believe, you're not alone. Even more unbelievable, however, is the ship's choice of music.

The company implemented a New Year’s surcharge that stuck San Francisco-based Uber user Dan Darcy with a $63 bill for traveling 0.73 miles. (That’s a rate of $86.30 per mile.)

You could probably get someone to carry you on their back for that rate. Uber calls this "surge pricing", and it could be a logical way to lower demand. Uber's ham-fisted way of presenting the whole thing, however, may help them reduce bring demand down to zero.

The article also mentions that Coca-Cola once tested a vending machine that raised prices when it was hot out. Now that is evil.

It's a simple but good joke, with an amusing name (and a great avatar to go with it). It gets even better when you check out @StealthMountain's favorites too, to see all manner of indignant replies from the grammatically challenged.

Kennedy and his church had ownership of the building transferred to them in 1997 after the previous owner, a Klansman, quarreled with his fellow Klan members, particularly the store proprietor. The Klansman gave the building to Kennedy's church after the two developed a "spiritual relationship," according to the judge in the case.

Awkward.

In similar news, Dallas has effectively decriminalized theft under $50.

Great work, PayPal.

TMN Editor Leah Finnegan
Some rich people got married.

"No."

“When Tony Jack passed the middle point of the bridge . . . he nodded toward the huge tower’s foundation,” Humphreys writes.

“Say good morning to Jimmy Hoffa, boys,” he said.

If you bury someone below a 700-foot-tall tower, he's going to stay buried.

The math section had 60 questions. I knew the answers to none of them, but managed to guess ten out of the 60 correctly. On the reading test, I got 62% . In our system, that’s a ‘D,’ and would get me a mandatory assignment to a double block of reading instruction.

The two articles provide a fascinating look at the ways these standardized tests are missing the mark.

Update (December 22nd, 2011): While teaching to the test, and not measuring the right things are certainly a problem, I'm not sure it's so clear-cut here. The Post put up some sample questions. My results?

Under the new rules, in 2012, all teams will have the same amount of money ($2.9 million) to use for bonuses to entice players to sign with them. After that, the amount will vary based on how well the team has performed recently. The better they do, the less money they'll have.

…in future years, a team’s total international budget will be determined based on their Major League win-loss record. If the organization begins to win at the Major League level, they’ll have even less to spend on international talent going forward.

In other words, baseball finally has some parity when it comes to player compensation. The problem is, it's not where it really counts: total payroll.

thankfully, you don't need to see the movie because artist Randeep Katari has seen it for you, and sketched a summary. This initial image, showing Randeep purchasing his ticket, should give you some idea what you're getting in to.

He hasn't even made it into the theater yet.

Pleated Jeans has compiled a great collection.