I fear it’s been a bit of a negative week here on OFT, so let’s end it on a higher note. There’s good news, as all “Chuck Norris Facts” are now about this Chuck Norris. He is very clearly the superior specimen.
Don’t Build a Snow Room ∞
Christ, what assholes.
Wednesday, August 5th, 2026
Thanks to the New York Times for alerting me to something more odious than a yacht: a yacht with a snow room.
As the changing climate wreaks havoc on the four seasons, some people with means are fashioning their own. They are equipping their homes (and even their yachts) with indoor winter wonderlands, aided by companies like the Italian snowmaker TechnoAlpin, which blasts snow onto ski mountains, and an American company, the Spa Butler.
I’m sure these snow rooms are lovely places to relax and wait for the lower classes to come with the pitchforks.
Is “Zero” a Dose? ∞
The “terrible twos” are different now.
Tuesday, August 4th, 2026
Today, we have a terrible headline coming from Wildwood, New Jersey: “Two-year-old boy overdoses on cocaine on the Jersey Shore”. Fortunately, the child didn’t die. That’s good, but given that, the use of the word “overdose” there sort of implies there’s some quantity of cocaine that is the correct dose for a 2-year-old.
The Smudge Drone ∞
They did say it’s hard to see, not hard to hear.
Monday, August 3rd, 2026
HOW WOULD ANYONE EVER BE ABLE TO TELL THAT THIS DRONE IS THERE?1
Footnotes:
Be sure to have your speakers on when watching the linked video. That video is also archived here. ↩︎
Trust No One ∞
In a modern takeover, the criminal is let in AND the owner is locked out.
Friday, July 31st, 2026
As a pilot, Ryan Pettit understands that having a single point of failure in an aircraft would be a very bad thing. Through hard experience, he’s now preaching the perils of a single point of failure in digital systems as well.
No aircraft I have ever flown is permitted a single point of failure: every critical system carries a backup, and often a backup for the backup, so that no single fault can bring the plane down. Redundancy is the first principle of any system that cannot be allowed to fail. And yet millions of people carry their entire financial and personal identity on exactly one such lock, and think nothing of it.
This is a horrifying read, one that has me reassessing my own digital security.
D–, Vile Harassment, but Solid Financial Outcome ∞
Good for the Steiners.
Thursday, July 30th, 2026
Back in 2024, I wrote about the intimidation campaign eBay executives waged against David and Ina Steiner. The monstrous actions undertaken on behalf of eBay were unconscionable, and no one should go through what the Steiners went through. At the time, the company had to pay a $3 million fine, and at least one person was sentenced to jail time.
Two and a half years later, a civil settlement has been reached, and it seems to represent at least some measure of justice. The couple will receive just shy of $50 million, with most of it coming from eBay, but some being paid by former executives involved in this heinous crime. As well, according to the settlement press release, former eBay CEO Devin Wenig “will contribute an additional $1 million to a charity dedicated to protecting First Amendment rights in the name of Ina Steiner”. That’s a start.
A Missing Underscore ∞
“He should never have been charged, let alone convicted.”
Wednesday, July 29th, 2026
Now here’s a modern nightmare.
Police were looking for a man using the Kik messaging service under the name “fus__ro_dah” (two underscores after “fus”), but they accidentally requested records for the username “fus_ro_dah” (one underscore after “fus”).
As a result of that missing underscore, an innocent man who had absolutely nothing to do with the crime in question served 18 months in jail.
While I understand how the mistake led to this poor guy becoming a suspect, I really can’t fathom how he was convicted. What the hell happened during that trial?
Perhaps We Should Just Shut It All Down
It is correct and right to kink-shame this.
Tuesday, July 28th, 2026
Last week, Wired published an article with the headline “People Are Getting Off to Porn About ICE Raids”. I have not read this article. I do not intend to read this article. I’m not even going to include a link to this article. You can find it if you really want to, though I suggest you do not.
I have skimmed the article just enough to determine that the headline is a valid summary of its content, and of reality. And I suppose once I got over the shock of the headline, my next thought was “Of course they are”. But the very idea is so depraved it never would’ve entered my mind.
Last year, writing about people posing for pictures outside Florida’s horrifying Alligator Alcatraz, I said:
These images haunt me. The people in them are despicable. They are sick. They would pose with lynching victims, if only they could get the chance.
I am similarly haunted by the idea of someone being aroused by pornography themed around ICE’s dehumanizing raids. I remain ashamed to share a country with people capable of reveling in the misery of others. We can be better than this. We must be.
