Don’t Date Robots! ∞

“No, thanks, Dad. I'd rather make out with my Monroebot.”

Friday, July 10th, 2026

Way back in the mid-2000s, Neil Strauss’s book “The Game” shone a spotlight on the so-called seduction community. One of the book’s main characters was pickup artist Erik von Markovik, who goes by “Mystery”. Uncharitably, I would describe Mystery as a creep who has made both a life and a business of manipulating women.

In the year of our LLMs, 2026, it seems Mystery is now the one being manipulated. Specifically, his A.I. girlfriend Miss Shira Always has really messed with his head. It’s a disturbing situation, but the upside is that only one human being will be hurt by this “relationship”.

Previously in A.I. paramours: Something to Fear and Embrace

CTC Iced Coffee

Sure, it used to be a multiplication sign, but now that tiny × shall be known as the “collab x”.

Thursday, July 9th, 2026

Today, please enjoy some litter I picked up while out on a run.

A can of “Cinnamon Toast Crunch” Iced Coffee

As I passed it, I actually did a double-take, because I couldn’t believe I had seen the Cinnamon Toast Crunch (CTC) logo on an aluminum can. I ran back to pick it up and examine it, after which I pocketed it and carried it for a few miles so I could photograph it back at home.

I have questions about this product.

QUESTIONS I HAVE ABOUT CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH ICED COFFEE

  • Is Victor Allen’s coffee a known brand name?

    I’ve never heard of it, but as the Buy Me A Coffee link currently in the sidebar notes 👉, I don’t actually drink coffee.

  • Whose idea was this?

    Between Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Victor Allen, there are two distinct brands listed on the front, but there’s nary a tiny × to be seen anywhere. Given that it’s not “Cinnamon Toast Crunch × Victor Allen’s”, I suspect the idea came from some third party. Without that collab-×, it can’t truly be a collab.

    The back of the can indicates it was actually produced by Horseshoe Beverage Company (“Your Partner for Shelf-Stable Ready-to-Drink Coffee, Cold Brew, and Functional Beverages”).

    The back of a can of “Cinnamon Toast Crunch” Iced Coffee

    Did Horseshoe simply license the world-famous CTC brand, along with the far lesser-known Victor Allen brand? Did General Mills put them up to this? I would very much like to know the origin of this madness.

  • Does naturally flavored cinnamon toast iced coffee exist?

    The packaging reads “Artificially flavored cinnamon toast iced coffee”, as though it were the most normal thing in the world. “Oh, sure, cinnamon toast iced coffee, right, of course. And now they found a way to use a bit of artificial flavoring to mass produce it, good for them!”.

    I’m tickled at the idea of making real cinnamon toast, and then somehow crumbling it up to use as flavoring for coffee. Report back to me if you try it.

  • Wait, doesn’t “iced coffee” require, ya know, ice?

    This product is calling itself “iced coffee”, but until the buyer supplies the ice, it’s really just coffee.

  • Where the hell is Chef Wendell in all of this?

    Do you remember that Cinnamon Toast Crunch used to be made by a cartoon baker? My research has revealed that there were originally three bakers (Wendell, Bob, and Quello), though I have no recollection of anyone but Wendell. Wendell appears to have cut the other two out of the business in 1991, but he’s been off-the-grid (and off the box) himself for well over a decade and a half. General Mills has not forgotten him though.

    Frankly, I suspect Wendell might be the man behind the curtain, pulling the strings. Just look at him:

    Wendell the chef

    Those are the crazy eyes of a man who’s high on his own supply, mixing Cinnamon Toast Crunch into way too much coffee.

  • Why are you doing this?

    Really, just…why? Whoever came up with this, I say to you, “No! Bad! Stop it!”.

You may not want to live in a world where “Artificially flavored cinnamon toast iced coffee” exists. Regrettably, however, it seems that you do.

Good Money After Bad Marriages ∞

Jewelers, you’re not great.

Wednesday, July 8th, 2026

Has your once-storybook marriage crumbled, leading to a divorce that devastated both your heart and your finances? Perhaps you’d like to memorialize that by paying to repurpose your engagement ring into a divorce ring.

Deb had the diamond from her engagement ring set at one end of an open circle and added a new sapphire to represent her daughter to the other end. It cost $3,000 (£2,245).

…

Ring resale values tend to be only around 30% of the original price so for many the trend of giving their old jewellery a new life feels a better investment.

If this feels good, more power to you, divorcées. But let’s not pretend this trend is some wise financial decision.

Whenever the word “investment” is used to mean “expensive purchase”, rather than “outlay of money with the expectation or hope of profit”, someone is trying to sell you something you don’t really need.

Sandler With the Assist ∞

“Massive celebrity does regular person thing” is often delightful.

Tuesday, July 7th, 2026

It seems comedian Adam Sandler had quite a weekend. First, it is apparently not a joke that he officiated the wedding of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce at Madison Square Garden. I’m skeptical that marriage even counts, but I’m sure everyone had a lovely time.

Shortly after, Sandler went to Nantucket. There he played some pick-up basketball in a delightfully loud tropical shirt. As great a story as this is for those who played, I’m most amused by how Sandler wound up where he did.

Unfamiliar with Nantucket, Sandler actually called the Nantucket Police Department’s non-emergency line to ask where he could find a game, according to public safety dispatcher Chris Reynolds.

Sandler said, “Hey, I’m here on your island and I like to play basketball. Can you tell me where there’s a basketball court I could play on?” Reynolds told the Current. He directed Sandler to the Backus Lane court off Surfside Road.

Do you think Sandler identified himself over the phone? Or did he do one of his voices? Is the police non-emergency line the right resource for this? It seems to have worked, anyway.

I’m not entirely sure that call should have been made public, but I’m glad it was.

Extremely Late Fireworks ∞

Midnight fireworks on New Year’s Eve/New Year’s Day make sense. This does not.

Monday, July 6th, 2026

Do you know what’s a strange time for a 4th of July fireworks show? 2:43 AM on July 5th. That’s when Philadelphia wound up setting off their display yesterday. That strange timing was caused in part by weather delays, coupled with setting things off being the safest option.

The fireworks display proceeded because the pyrotechnics had already been loaded into the launch system and could not be safely unloaded, making completion of the show the safest operational option, according to city officials.

I can believe that the best move was to set off the already-loaded fireworks, but could they perhaps have been safely held until not 2:43 in the morning? Wait a few more hours and put on some daytime fireworks. That would be both funnier and less disruptive.

But this was all precipitated by an original plan that also strikes me as bizarre. The scheduled time for the fireworks was 11:45 PM! Apparently, Philadelphia was looking to celebrate the end of July 4th. Weird.

Swarms of Scuba Cockroaches ∞

Supposedly, it’ll be a good thing!

Friday, July 3rd, 2026

Scientists have developed a diving suit for cyborg cockroaches why not?

The most immediate practical application is for enhancing search-and-rescue robots. …Using live cockroaches solves a lot of problems because you can use their own muscles and metabolism, which biology perfected for efficient energy use over millions of years of evolution. The electronics only steer them.

OK, that’s pretty clever.

Now imagine a swarm of hundreds or even thousands of these roaches dispersing in all directions across a disaster zone.

Oh jeez, do I have to?

Morally Reprehensible Gambling ∞

And yes, this will absolutely lead to arson.

Thursday, July 2nd, 2026

Speaking of wildfires, don’t bet on them. Let’s all be better than that.

The Possible End of Deferred Contracts ∞

I’m sure some greedy owners will find something new and dumb to amuse us.

Wednesday, July 1st, 2026

Today is once again Bobby Bonilla Day, the day when retired Major Leaguer Bobby Bonilla gets $1.19 million dollars from the New York Mets. That happens despite Bonilla last playing for the team in 1999, and retiring from baseball altogether in 2001. Such is the ridiculousness of deferred contracts, which will also see the Dodgers paying Shohei Ohtani $68 million a year from 2034 to 2043.

It appears the tactic may not be long for this world, though, as team owners are now seeking to ban it.

[I]f owners get this into the next labor deal, all new pacts beginning in 2027 would not allow deferred money. Management sees this bid, fundamentally tied to its push for a salary cap, as another tool to help level the sport’s economic playing field. 

Even if they do successfully ban future contracts from having deferred money, it won’t impact existing deals. That means we’ve still got nine more Bobby Bonilla Days to enjoy together.

Fireworks Are Not an Inalienable Right ∞

Starting a wildfire is a poor way to celebrate.

Tuesday, June 30th, 2026

Utah is having a record year for wildfires, and as a result, the governor has changed the state’s policy for fireworks. They’re now banned by default, though local municipalities can lift that restriction in coordination with their local fire chief. Naturally, all hell has broken loose.

Bigger Is Not Better ∞

It is, in fact, pretty clearly worse for all.

Monday, June 29th, 2026

As regular readers know, car bloat is killing us. Recently, the New York Times created an impressive interactive article that details the problems of massive pickups and SUVs in the US. It’s well worth a look.

Perhaps it would make sense for governments to limit the size of vehicles, for the benefit of all. Or perhaps we should all start adding some whirling spike clubs.

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