It seems comedian Adam Sandler had quite a weekend. First, it is apparently not a joke that he officiated the wedding of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce at Madison Square Garden. I’m skeptical that marriage even counts, but I’m sure everyone had a lovely time.

Shortly after, Sandler went to Nantucket. There he played some pick-up basketball in a delightfully loud tropical shirt. As great a story as this is for those who played, I’m most amused by how Sandler wound up where he did.

Unfamiliar with Nantucket, Sandler actually called the Nantucket Police Department’s non-emergency line to ask where he could find a game, according to public safety dispatcher Chris Reynolds.

Sandler said, “Hey, I’m here on your island and I like to play basketball. Can you tell me where there’s a basketball court I could play on?” Reynolds told the Current. He directed Sandler to the Backus Lane court off Surfside Road.

Do you think Sandler identified himself over the phone? Or did he do one of his voices? Is the police non-emergency line the right resource for this? It seems to have worked, anyway.

I’m not entirely sure that call should have been made public, but I’m glad it was.

Do you know what’s a strange time for a 4th of July fireworks show? 2:43 AM on July 5th. That’s when Philadelphia wound up setting off their display yesterday. That strange timing was caused in part by weather delays, coupled with setting things off being the safest option.

The fireworks display proceeded because the pyrotechnics had already been loaded into the launch system and could not be safely unloaded, making completion of the show the safest operational option, according to city officials.

I can believe that the best move was to set off the already-loaded fireworks, but could they perhaps have been safely held until not 2:43 in the morning? Wait a few more hours and put on some daytime fireworks. That would be both funnier and less disruptive.

But this was all precipitated by an original plan that also strikes me as bizarre. The scheduled time for the fireworks was 11:45 PM! Apparently, Philadelphia was looking to celebrate the end of July 4th. Weird.

Scientists have developed a diving suit for cyborg cockroaches why not?

The most immediate practical application is for enhancing search-and-rescue robots. …Using live cockroaches solves a lot of problems because you can use their own muscles and metabolism, which biology perfected for efficient energy use over millions of years of evolution. The electronics only steer them.

OK, that’s pretty clever.

Now imagine a swarm of hundreds or even thousands of these roaches dispersing in all directions across a disaster zone.

Oh jeez, do I have to?

Speaking of wildfires, don’t bet on them. Let’s all be better than that.

Utah is having a record year for wildfires, and as a result, the governor has changed the state’s policy for fireworks. They’re now banned by default, though local municipalities can lift that restriction in coordination with their local fire chief. Naturally, all hell has broken loose.

As regular readers know, car bloat is killing us. Recently, the New York Times created an impressive interactive article that details the problems of massive pickups and SUVs in the US. It’s well worth a look.

Perhaps it would make sense for governments to limit the size of vehicles, for the benefit of all. Or perhaps we should all start adding some whirling spike clubs.

I was surprised to find myself hooked into reading this article about dirt, but it happened.

For 15 years, Sébastien Fontaine has been trying to kill dirt. The biochemist, who runs a lab at the French National Institute for Agriculture, Food, and Environment, wanted to know how much carbon is released by soil — just dirt alone, completely devoid of life. His team sealed dirt into jars and blasted them with sterilizing gamma radiation. Then they waited for the carbon dioxide released by the soil — a sign of ongoing microbial respiration — to drop.

They waited, and waited, and waited some more: weeks, then months. Under a microscope, the irradiated soil showed no signs of life, but it continued to emit carbon dioxide. The soil wouldn’t stop breathing.

It appears the chemistry of life is not actually exclusive to life. Neat!

I was recently chatting with friends in San Francisco about the devil of a time they had buying a house. An incredible influx of cash related to A.I. coupled with decades of under-building have created a hellish market for buyers. Houses in San Francisco are already quite expensive, and some have sold for a million dollars over the asking price or more. That’s wild.

The aforementioned A.I. cash influx is apparently warping other prices as well.

I’ve often referenced and promoted the idea that billionaires should probably not exist. I’m damned sure that trillionaires shouldn’t exist.