Our Weirdest Holiday

“Groundhog Day”, the movie, isn’t available to stream so I instead wrote this post about “Groundhog Day”, the asinine holiday I apparently wasn’t through disparaging.

When it comes to Groundhog Day, yesterday’s XKCD nailed it.1 It really is a bizarre holiday, and it’s one I have previously derided:

The problem, as I see it, is that there’s simply nothing there. They pull out poor Punxsutawney Phil, and then…a person announces whether the rodent saw his shadow or not. The groundhog doesn’t actually react in any visible way. The whole thing isn’t even as goofy as “Is the groundhog awake or not?”. No, the weather-predicting woodchuck is utterly unnecessary to the proceedings. They could just flip a coin. Or skip the whole thing entirely.

That post goes on to detail how back in the 19th century, they killed and ate Punxsutawney Phil following his prediction. Even three years after learning that horrid bit of trivia, I’m still taken aback by it. And those Phils were not the only unfortunate prognosticators.

Yesterday, I learned about Nantucket’s decades-old tradition of Quentin the quahog. Quentin is a random clam that gets cracked open to make a weather prediction.2 The forecast is determined by which side of the shell the water spurts out from, which is quite stupid, yet still better than Punxsutawney Phil “seeing” his shadow (or not). Once cracked, however, the clam may as well be eaten, and so it is. I think.

Nantucket’s Quentin the Quahog squirted to the right Monday morning, predicting an early spring is on the way[.]

Quentin was opened this morning at the town’s Brant Point Shellfish Hatchery by assistant biologist Griffin Harkins. He then paid the ultimate sacrifice and was consumed.

The writing is decidedly unclear, but I believe that Quentin was the one consumed, rather than assistant biologist Harkins. It would probably be bigger news if they ate a scientist.

Speaking of comics about Groundhog Day, Snoopy gave us a far better idea for a holiday way back in 1981.3 Perhaps next year, we can celebrate that instead.


Footnotes:

  1. The XKCD strip in question is archived here. ↩︎

  2. “We kind of try to choose one that looks like it’s going to be able to predict the future” said Nantucket biologist Joseph Minella. ↩︎

  3. The Peanuts strip in question is archived here. ↩︎

Phantom Obligations 

Nobody’s waiting.

It’s been over half a decade since I first urged the meat-axing of notifications on your devices. I continue to feel strongly that turning off notifications and badges is one of the best changes you can make to enable a healthier relationship with technology. As I wrote in 2020:

The artificial urgency device notifications create is unnecessary, and probably unhealthy. Very few notifications are actually time-sensitive, yet far too many of us let our phones take us out of the moment needlessly.

Recently, Terry Godier published an excellent piece called “Phantom Obligation”, whose title is defined as “the guilt you feel for something no one asked you to do”. Badges on app icons on your phone are a prime example, with their widespread abuse resulting in countless such phantom obligations.

The notification badge took email’s unread count and made it universal. Any app could now claim urgency. A game wanting you to collect coins wore the same badge as a message from your mother.

Different messages have very different levels of importance, but badges have no granularity. Given that, the best move is to disable them almost everywhere.

Vibe Coding His Way to Davos Jail 

Try the chicken lasagna!

Soon after Sebastian Heyneman left a suspicious-looking hardware device unattended at the World Economic Forum, he found himself in a very fancy jail. Eventually, he was asked to explain the device.

I say, “Look, I’m not a very good hardware engineer, but I’m a great user of AI.” I was one of the top users of [AI coding tool] Cursor last year. I did 43,000 agent runs and generated 25 billion tokens.

We open my machine. Chris and I go line by line through the code. I don’t know the language that the code was written in because it was written in AI, so Chris actually explained the code to me.

Not even knowing what coding language the software was written in is perhaps the most horrifying part of this.

Not So Thoughtful 

The blog post not yet being live might’ve been a hint.

On Wednesday, Amazon announced they’d be laying off about 16,000 workers. That’s not great. Also bad? They sent employees an email a day prior which accidentally spilled the beans prematurely.

The email sent on Tuesday signed by Colleen Aubrey, senior vice president of applied AI solutions at AWS, wrongly said that impacted employees in the U.S., Canada and Costa Rica had already been informed they lost their jobs. In Slack messages viewed by Reuters, AWS employees who received the email said the Wednesday meeting was almost immediately canceled. Amazon referred in the email to the layoffs as “Project Dawn.”

I’m sure that was a fun 24 hours for everyone at Amazon.

“Changes like this are hard on everyone,” Aubrey wrote in the email, reviewed by Reuters. “These decisions are difficult and are made thoughtfully as we position our organization and AWS for future success.”

The decisions may have been made thoughtfully, but the announcement sure wasn’t.

Tarnished by Association 

“The borrowed prestige of some of the West’s leading architecture firms”

Over at The Nation, Kate Wagner has a wonderful indictment of those businesses which have participated in The Line, Saudi Arabia’s preposterous mega-project.

For nearly five years, we beleaguered souls in the design world have had to endure innumerable press releases and puff pieces about whatever zany shit was going on out in the Saudi Arabian desert. This included the Line’s supposed sustainability efforts (oh, the oil-funded irony), such as indoor gardens and wind farms, plus a number of gravity-defying proposals that, to anyone with a rudimentary understanding of physics, sounded more like pulpy sci-fi gags (most notoriously, an upside-down skyscraper poised like a keystone over an artificial marina full of stagnant water).

Wagner is piggybacking on the Financial Times report previously linked back in November, which details how the project is failing. Calling out all those who sold themselves out to participate, however, is worthwhile.

A Year of Congestion Pricing in Lower Manhattan 

“It's allowed me to believe that perhaps America can change for the better.”

After a full year of congestion pricing in New York City, the New York Times has a detailed analysis, and the results are almost uniformly positive. There are fewer vehicles, traffic moves faster, transit ridership is up, and roads are safer and quieter.

I, Too, Am Heartbroken and Very Angry 

We all should be.

Alex Pretti lived a life of service. He was an ICU nurse for the Department of Veterans Affairs. His last act was helping a woman up after she’d been assaulted.

Now, Alex Pretti is dead, gunned down by poorly trained ICE thugs. It’s the second horrific killing in Minnesota this month, and I fear it won’t be the last. I don’t know what it will take to end this madness. But at the very least, let us refuse to accept the despicable smear campaigns being attempted by craven officials and bootlicking apologists.

Some Cow 

I, for one, welcome our new bovine overlords.

Speaking of smart animals, meet Veronika, the Austrian cow who uses tools to scratch itches:

A cow using a broom to scratch herself

Veronika appears to use different tools for different purposes:

If it were her back or another tough area that warranted a good scratch, she would use the bristle end of a broom.

When a softer touch was needed, such as on her sensitive underbelly, she would use the smooth handle end.

Imagine what she could do with a Swiss Army knife.

Eavesdropping Dogs 

There are plenty of people who couldn’t manage this.

It’s rude for humans to eavesdrop, but I’ll allow it for dogs.

A Quiet Sort of Insanity 

In Chinese, it’s “Si Le Me”, pronounced SEE-LUH-MUH

Speaking of morbid Chinese silliness, a new app in China is growing in popularity:

The idea is simple: check in every day by tapping the big green button on the app’s homepage. Fail to check in for 48 hours and it will email the emergency contact you registered during set-up.

Its awful but brilliant name is “Are You Dead?”. That bluntness has bothered some (including, apparently, the Chinese government), but it seems to me that the problem isn’t the name so much as the fact that such an app is indeed useful.