Renea Gamble Prevails ∞

Beboppin’ and scattin’ all over him

Thursday, April 30th, 2026

Renea Gamble, a 62-year-old woman who was arrested when she wore a 7-foot-tall inflatable penis costume to protest the dic(k)tatorial regime of Donald Trump, has been acquitted on all misdemeanor charges. The whole story is farcical, but I particularly liked this exchange with the defendant’s husband:

[The prosecutor] called Gamble’s husband as a witness to testify that he had withdrawn bail money before they attended the protest, as if she knew she was going to break the law in advance.

“I always make sure we got bail money on us,” Larry Fletcher responded, to laughter from the gallery. “I have bail money on me now. Whenever there are this many cops around I have bail money on me.”

There were no fewer than 16 uniformed police officers standing around the perimeter of the courtroom.

That’s some poor prosecuting, but some fine reporting.

Previously in ludicrous prosecutions: Afroman Prevails

Pam From Wenatchee Made a Hologram ∞

Tens of thousands of dollars for this is a lot of dollars.

Wednesday, April 29th, 2026

I firmly believe you shouldn’t use A.I. to write a eulogy. I also firmly believe there’s (almost) no wrong way to grieve. I thus find myself rather conflicted about the story of Bill Cronrath, who appeared at his own funeral as a hologram. This was accomplished thanks to some fairly high-end technology.

“When you hear they’re working with Michael Jackson’s estate, and then it’s me – Pam from Wenatchee – you do wonder how it’s going to work,” she said.

The project was spearheaded by Bill’s wife Pam, who described attendees as “aghast”. I’m not sure that’s quite the reaction you want at a funeral.

The Bartered Vasectomy ∞

Something something meat cuts

Tuesday, April 28th, 2026

When a Vermont woman purchased a raffle ticket for a fundraiser, she hoped to win some flowers. Instead, she got a vasectomy.

Sub-Two Sabastian Sawe

Sabastian Sawe flew into the record books.

Monday, April 27th, 2026

Before yesterday, the fastest marathon ever raced was Kelvin Kiptum’s 2023 Chicago run, where the late phenom put up a 2:00:35. You might also remember Eliud Kipchoge’s 1:59:40.2, which he ran in a non-sanctioned event purpose-built to break the two hour mark. Both of those were amazing feats.

Now, however, there is a new mark. On Sunday, Sabastian Sawe of Kenya dropped an astonishing 1:59:30 in the London Marathon. This shattered the previous race record by over a minute, and even managed to beat Kipchoge’s controlled time by a solid 10 seconds. I’ve been waiting and watching for a sub-two hour marathon, and now I’m delighted to see it accomplished.

Just look at Sawe go:

Sabastian Sawe breaking the tape at the London Marathon after just 1 hour 59 minutes and 30 seconds
A blur of Sabastian Sawe breaking the tape in 1:59:30
[Still frame from a video by FloTrack]

When writing about Eliud Kipchoge’s 2018 world record time of 2:01:39, I said:

He ran a mile in 4:38, and then did it 25 more times after that, and then still ran another 2/10ths of a mile! The mind reels.

You probably know a 4:38 mile is fast, but just how fast is it? Well, it would require laps of just 70 seconds around a 400-meter track, which I don’t believe I could manage even once. It’s also 17.5 second 100-meter dashes

Let’s check those numbers for Sabastian Sawe. He averaged 4:33.47 minute miles across the entire race. That’s just 68 seconds to get around a 400-meter track, or exactly 17 seconds on the 100-meter dash. I eventually did test sprinting 100 meters, and I managed right around 17 seconds, once. Once! Sawe just rattled off 422 of those in a row. The mind continues to reel.

So take a moment to celebrate what Sabastian Sawe just accomplished. I suspect we’ll see further records times, but he’ll always be the first to race a sub-two hour marathon. And spare a thought for Yomif Kejelcha, the Buzz Aldrin to Sawe’s Neil Armstrong. In his first marathon ever, Kejelcha’s ran a blistering 1:59:41, 54 seconds faster than the previous marathon world record. Alas, yesterday, that was only good enough for second place.

A Very Fusilli Plan ∞

Did some poor kid receive one of these boxes for their birthday? Maybe!

Friday, April 24th, 2026

I am extremely amused by the slightly clever Lego pasta scammer, who thought exactly one step ahead. That is not enough steps ahead.

Dropping in Unannounced ∞

A good time was had by all.

Thursday, April 23rd, 2026

It’s a good week for things falling out of the sky here at OFT, as we’ve now got a new vehicle where it ain’t supposed to be. Last weekend, a becalmed hot air balloon had to make an emergency landing, and it wound up in Hunter and Jenna Perrin’s tiny backyard. You may have already seen footage of the landing, with everyone looking delighted:

A group in a hot air balloon basket, in someone’s very small backyard[Image via: Hunter Perrin]

I particularly appreciate the sheepish grin and shrug, but my favorite shot comes from later, when the balloon was being hopped out of the backyard:

A hot air balloon over a suburban house[Image via: Hunter Perrin]

You certainly don’t see that every day. And speaking of unusual events, the company in charge of this particular flight was Magical Adventure Balloon Rides, who have previously made headlines for a rather different reason. They offer “mile high flights”, and according to their site, “[i]t is exactly what you are thinking”. You and your partner can take an exclusive flight to 5,280 feet in “a basket equipped with a privacy curtain”, while the “discreet pilot will wear protective hearing gear and focus solely on flying the balloon”. A 2024 piece I found was quite a read, and included this:

“I don’t want to be indelicate, but OK, I’ll just be direct: They were [doing it] doggy-style, with the woman over the side of the basket…so she could look out.”

“Wouldja look at that view?!”

Sectional 42

This appears to be a one-off item. They ought to consider selling more of them.

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2026

The bleachers at Fenway Park are a near-uniform sea of green. However, in section 42, row 37, seat 21, there is a lone red seat.

A red seat amongst a sea of green seats
[Photo credit: Ewen Roberts]

That special seat marks where Ted Williams hit what is recorded as the longest home run in Fenway Park history, at 502 feet. As the folks over at Uni Watch note:

The seat was turned red in 1984 to commemorate the massive blow and has since become part of the team’s lore and culture. The seat’s mystique grew following Williams’s death in 2002, as the Red Sox kept the seat vacant for the remainder of that season. (Fans who’d already purchased tickets for that seat were upgraded to better locations in the ballpark.)

Now, a second lone red seat is headed for the living room of some lucky Red Sox fan. Jordan’s Furniture has created a special green and red couch as a promotion, and I’m grateful that friend-of-the-site Jason S. gave me a heads-up. Now, you can feast your eyes on the delightfully-named “Sectional 42”:

A red section, in an otherwise green sectional sofa
[Image: Jordan’s Furniture]

That is just some outstanding marketing. There are a lot of bad ads out there, so it’s nice to spot a good one once in awhile. And if you’d like to win this sweet sofa, enter over on Instagram. You’ll also be helping raise money to fight cancer.

We’ve Got to Hang Our Hats on Something ∞

If I die after being chased down by a super-fast, super-ridiculous robot, at least I’ll have had a good laugh at its expense.

Tuesday, April 21st, 2026

Last April, shared news from Beijing’s robot half-marathon, which I charitably called “not a resounding success” for the machines. Out of 21 entrants, only 6 managed to finish, and that was with a lot of assistance. It also took 2 hours and 40 minutes, quite a slow pace.

Just one year later, the results are markedly different. More than 100 robots entered, and several of them from Chinese smartphone maker Honor ran the race at a faster-than-human pace. The men’s world record is currently 57:20, and it’s not likely to drop by much more. For the robots, the autonomous winner finished in 50:26, while a remote-controlled robot managed 48:19.

All is not lost, however. Here’s a look at just two of the robots during the race:


[Full video source]

We may be slower, but humans clearly still hold an edge in the all important category of “not looking ridiculous while running”.

Snagged on a Giant C ∞

Why is there a college football game in April?

Monday, April 20th, 2026

This is a rough day at the office.

Vehicles Crushed by Snow ∞

“Entombed in dirty snow” is a bad way to go

Friday, April 17th, 2026

As the weather warms up in New England, the massive snow piles found around Boston are finally melting. One particular pile has garnered quite a bit of attention due to what was revealed underneath it. Namely, cars. A half-dozen cars were covered by snow piles, and now they’re reemerging.

A car, buried under a huge mound of snow
[Photo credit: u/jj3904]

I’m a bit skeptical of the claim that all of these cars were “waiting to be junked” prior to being buried under tons of snow. Regardless, however, but they’re definitely junkers now.

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