Bring it in, buddy!
Tuesday, September 1st, 2026
In addition to being a very good pitcher, Red Sox rookie starter Payton Tolle is also an entertaining dude. Last night, he demonstrated this by tagging out opposing player Dominic Canzone with a hug. Click that link to see the video, which makes me laugh every time.1
Who could resist?
Footnotes:
As always, the video is archived here. ↩︎
This little mouse is no Speedy Gonzalez.
Monday, August 31st, 2026
In America, car bloat continues to kill us. Unfortunately, few manufacturers seem inclined to offer smaller vehicles, which means few consumers can purchase them. As the average vehicle gets bigger and bigger, we all suffer from reduced safety, increased road wear and tear, and even crunches in parking availability.
So I was excited when Fiat recently introduced the Topolino to America. It’s a tiny electric vehicle that could be perfect for cities. At just 99.6 inches long, it’s far shorter than almost anything you’ll find on the road. Though the Smart Fortwo is no longer sold in America, I still see them frequently around Boston. Those are 106.1 inches long, close to the Topolino. As far as new cars go, the smallest right now seems to be the 2026 Mini Cooper. At 152.6 inches long, that’s more than four feet longer than the Topolino.
When I first heard about the Topolino, I hoped it might be a solid Fortwo replacement. Alas, at least in Boston, the vehicle is a non-starter. Here’s why, right from the Topolino FAQ:
When properly equipped with the Street Legal Conversion Kit, the FIAT® Topolino has an estimated top speed of 25 mph. Without the conversion kit, the Topolino cruises at a top speed of 19 mph.
Boston’s default speed limit is 25 MPH, but multiple arterial roads (including the infamous Storrow Drive) require higher speeds. A car that maxes out at 25 miles per hour is just not viable for use around Boston, nor most anywhere in the country.
Given that reality, it seems to me that this USA Today story about the Topolino drastically undersells how impractical this vehicle is for most people. The article states “it may not be appealing for every driver” and “Fiat’s new electric vehicle is cheap, but its performance specs could deter some potential buyers”. I would say that it may not be appealing for any driver, and its specs could deter nearly all potential buyers. As alluded to in the title of this post, this seems like a car for approximately no one.
Thanks to advances in batteries, micromobility options have proliferated in recent years. Every day, I see countless e-bikes, electric cargo bikes, scooters, and more. Those options can cost as little as a few hundred dollars, though. Perhaps there’s a market for this vehicle, but to me, it’s just a very disappointing $15,000 golf cart.
Proper regulation is key.
Friday, August 28th, 2026
Watch just about any traffic light in the Boston area until the signal changes, and you’ll almost certainly see one or even multiple cars blatantly running a red. It’s endemic, and it’s awful, yet nothing is done about it. The police have abdicated their responsibility for enforcing traffic laws and drivers know it. Everyone is less safe because of it.
As a result, I find myself supporting the legalization of automated enforcement technologies like red light cameras. I don’t like it, but I like it more than the current reality on the ground. On a very related note, there’s been a lot of discussion about the enormous potential for abuse in automated license plate readers (LPRs). The privacy hawks at the ACLU of Massachusetts have written a useful piece contrasting LPRs against speed and red light cameras.
Giving away hundreds of million of books is an incredible legacy.
Thursday, August 27th, 2026
Dolly Parton died on Tuesday, but the legacy of her Imagination Library will live on. It’s the best of humanity.
Dolly herself was from a hollow in East Tennessee, and understood that any attempt at equity would begin with the alphabet. Dolly’s father never learned to read or write, a fact that always bothered her because she could see how intelligent he was. When she started the Imagination Library in 1995 in Tennessee, it was an act of retroactive love for a man who didn’t get to dream as big as his world-famous daughter was able to…At the time of her death, the Imagination Library had expanded to mail 270 million books to children in five countries.
Andrew Carnegie built libraries. Dolly Parton did too.
Flag-design-by-politics doesn’t seem to be working.
Wednesday, August 26th, 2026
Previously, I wrote about hopes for a better Massachusetts state flag. Sadly, a year on from that post, we seem to be no closer to replacing it, as this Boston Magazine article details.
On the plus side, I did learn the full story on how Maine’s (sadly unofficial) Lone Pine flag rose to prominence. As well, some key principles to good flag design were shared, courtesy of North American Vexillological Association’s secretary Ted Kay:
A flag should be simple—so simple a child could draw it from memory. It should use just two to three colors, be distinctive, and deploy “meaningful symbolism.” And there should be no lettering or seals.
Massachusetts’s current flag fails this test very, very badly. Maybe someday, that will no longer be true.
It’s hard to get a big head when you have no head.
Tuesday, August 25th, 2026
My laser printer (a Brother whatever-it-is) can’t do color, but CVS will print a 4”x6” photo for all of 42 cents.1 It takes about a minute and a half to upload an image file and click through to order. A few hours later, your printed photo is ready for retrieval.
And so:
You probably thought I was kidding. I probably thought I was too. But now I’ve gone and done this. It makes a good addition to my trophy case, ensuring that I don’t get a big head.
Footnotes:
It’s possible it was even cheaper than that, as I fear I may actually have stolen this photograph from CVS. As described, I uploaded my photograph online and placed the order to have it printed. When I went to pick it up, I was handed the photo, after which I simply left.
Only after I got home did I stop to wonder when I’d actually paid. The original emails don’t have any payment information, and I don’t see a 42¢ charge on my credit card. I suspect I was supposed to pay at the store. And yet, the clerk who handed me the photo gave no indication that he was expecting payment. ↩︎
Though she’s left the CIA, Julia Curlee is still serving.
Monday, August 24th, 2026
Julia Curlee is a trans woman who ably served the CIA under four presidents. That ended last year, after the second Trump administration decided she was the wrong kind of American. Now, she’s sharing her story publicly.
Everything is so exhaustingly stupid.
Friday, August 21st, 2026
Speaking of terrible things that have stuck in my mind1, I’ve been hung up on something I read a few weeks ago. Following Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy’s moronic reference to “DEI bike lanes”, the Department of Transportation began stripping evidence-based tools and information on bike safety from government websites. Never mind that data shows bike lanes make roads safer for all users, including drivers, all without causing congestion. This idiotic new front in the cultural wars must be fought, truth be damned.
It gets dumber. When NPR inquired about these website changes, they received a response from a DOT spokesperson which included the following:
“Since nearly 80% of the population uses cars to get to work and
their important medical appointments, we are taking a closer look at federal guidance to ensure American families have the infrastructure they need,”2 the spokesperson said. “This is a common sense approach despite the Left’s belief that everyone should ride a bike to their shoebox-sized apartment to eat crickets to achieve a phony climate agenda.”
I’ve added emphasis to that last sentence, because it’s so profoundly stupid that it makes me want to scream.
The spokesperson who provided this quote was not named in the piece. I would argue they also should not have been quoted at all. Doing so elevated a completely ridiculous reply in a way it did not deserve. It would serve no useful purpose to quote the ravings of a dementia patient, and that’s the level we’re on here.
The media should strive to be unbiased, and they’re not actually doing that very well lately. When one side perpetually acts in bad faith, lazy both-sides journalism is just a weapon for them to spread their misinformation. Journalists aren’t supposed to be mere stenographers, and putting falsehoods on equal footing with facts and data is bad for society.
In other words, printing that quote without calling it out normalized nonsense. When someone attempts to pass off bullshit as reasoned discussion, reporting it as straight news isn’t being unbiased. It’s just being used.
Footnotes:
After that post, I heard from multiple fans of the hummingbird moth. I’m sorry to have yucked your figurative yums. I can only say that I know what I don’t like, and I don’t like that bug! But hey, more hummingbird moths for you folks to enjoy. *Shudder* ↩︎
I feel compelled to note that of course a huge percentage of Americans currently use cars frequently, because decades of transportation policy has privileged cars at the expense of our health, our safety, and our sanity. That doesn’t mean we have to continue the folly forever. ↩︎
Oh, the points you could earn!
Thursday, August 20th, 2026
Though the recent email sent by Massachusetts was suspicious in the extreme, the registration on my car will indeed come due in a couple of months. After I verified that, I figured I ought to get it taken care of online. It’s generally a relatively painless process, requiring just a few clicks.
As I finalized things and reached the payment stage, I saw this:
I highlighted what is a truly bizarre sentence to read, in any context. “The maximum payment allowed on a credit card is $999,999”! I would love to know the story behind that. This message has been shown since at least 2025, because I was similarly taken aback when I saw it last October. I took a screenshot then, and chuckled about it with friends. Only now, upon seeing it again, did I think to share it with you too.
Which would you guess is less common: a million dollar RMV charge, or a credit card with a million dollar limit? I suppose someone who purchases a multimillion-dollar super car might owe the RMV taxes that reach seven figures. That type of person might also have a real Amex Black Card (not the bogus Visa Black Card), which could make it possible to charge such a bill to a credit card.
Still, does it really make sense for every single resident who transacts with the RMV to see this ludicrous message?
I’m sorry.
Wednesday, August 19th, 2026
Last week, I learned of the existence of the hummingbird clearwing moth. I don’t care for it! I mean, just look at it:
[Photo credit: Larry Dallaire]
This large moth might be mistaken for a hummingbird because it hovers and beats its wings rapidly while unfurling its long tongue (proboscis) to sip nectar…They can fly sideways and backwards, accelerate quickly, and these moths beat their wings about 60 to 70 times per second (!) when hovering — fast enough to produce a buzzing or humming sound that is within the range of human hearing.
I’ve been thinking about this thing a lot, because it’s gross.1 Honestly, hummingbirds might be gross too if I consider them too much, but they get a pass because they’re birds, and birds are cool. A moth is just a gross flying bug. It may be a pollinator, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.
Anyhow, the best way I know to get this thing out of my mind is by sharing the awfulness with all of you. As always, thanks for reading One Foot Tsunami!
Footnotes:
Here’s an extremely relevant video clip.2 ↩︎
“Gross” doesn’t even begin to describe Danny Masterson, the actor who portrayed Stephen Hyde on “That ’70s Show”, nor the reprehensible actions of the Church of Scientology. Masterson is now serving 30 years to life after being found guilty of two counts of forcible rape. The Church of Scientology worked to cover up his crimes.↩︎
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